Attractive. Appealing. Awake.

These are words I have not applied to myself in a long time. 

Trying to live up to work, marriage, and motherhood expectations created by society, upbringing, or my imagination left me exhausted. Confused as to what I am supposed to be doing, wondering if whatever I am doing I could do better, etc. I would read in my Northwestern alumni magazine that someone a few years older (or younger) had died. So what I am doing right now matters either completely or not at all.

I have an education, a wonderful spouse, and healthy kids in safe schools. But in truth, my education is a bit outdated, my kids are growing up, and my spouse can’t keep my hair from thinning and greying. In the end, I don’t have any real life-threatening problems, so I also felt guilt.

I felt like ass.

A few months ago I ran into Marla Cartin, whom I had first met in the school hallway. We just started talking about projects and ideas. She had started a company Blue Velvet Curtain doing personal styling and designer sample sales. She brings new clothes, shoes, bags, scarves from high-end designer fashion houses to clients at a deep discount. We started to put together parties featuring her fashions and my jewelry. One thing lead to another and In a couple weeks, we are opening a shop in Miami.

A few of weeks ago, I again tried something new. Jessica Simonetti, a mom I have known for years, opened a Boston Body Pilates in Coolidge Corner, Brookline. She said it was her passion project. I started going to her morning class. Now, I plan my schedule around it. She has a sweet voice, an encouraging tone, and has really created a garden level vortex of positive energy in her studio. She said she wants us to take that energy and spread it out in the world.

For the first time, I am enjoying my creativity and exercise.

Getting styled by Marla and doing pilates with Jessica have made me feel beautiful and confident. I feel attractive, life is appealing and most importantly I feel awake. I love working with these inspired and motivated women.

Each of us is excited, passionate, and curious as to where our new projects will lead us. 

Perfectionism, Victory and Protection against Evil